


What is this place?... Its a safe haven

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers & Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, Brotps, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Sanvers, Drabbles, F/F, Family, Kara Danvers & Maggie Sawyer Friendship, Nerd Alex, Soft maggie, sanvers fluff, soft alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10140167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: A random collection of Sanvers ficlets... because who doesn't need a little bit more Sanvers in their life..





	1. Chapter 1

Its _New_.

And its _Exciting_.

And Alex can barely contain her energies. They bubble and bounce out of her in not so subtle smiles, glances, and the constant need to be touching  _her;_ a hand on her back as she lines up a shot at the pool table, a gentle brush of their shoulders as they sit side by side in a booth having a drink. Just being in Maggie's presence gave Alex a sense of bravado, a fire that burned deep in the pit of her stomach.

Alex knew she was already brave. She is a badass DEO agent; she knows it- everybody knows it. 

But when it comes to Maggie, beautiful, sweet, kind, smart, funny, protective, Maggie, Alex knows she is a mess. An all too new, excitable, scared as hell  _mess._

And maggie doesn't mind. 

The not so subtle smiles, glances and the gentle touches are reassuring. It allows her to gauge where Alex is, what she's ready for and just how much Maggie could give of herself. 

And she doesn't mind because despite what the rest of the world sees of Detective Maggie Sawyer, she knows that when it comes to Alex, everything is different. 

Maggie feels different. Not like anything she's ever felt for or from anyone else ever. It was just  _Alex._

So she not so subtly smiles, glances and touches Alex every chance she gets, at the bar, out in the field or as she watches her sleep peacefully. Because she knows. Alex is nothing like anything or anyone from the before, in the now or ever to come. And maggie doesn't believe in soulmates or true love; that's all just prophecy boiler plate to her.. or it was, until...

_Alex, Alex, Alex..._

_Damn._

Detective Maggie Swayer had gone and fallen in love and was now acclimatising to the new heights that love had brought to her.

And it was beautiful, enchanting, infuriatingly domestic and  _real._

And Alex felt all of those things too, was holding onto them as tightly as she could, not ever wanting to lose this thing she had found.

Because there was nothing else on this planet, in this universe that could be anymore perfect than... 

_Maggie, Maggie, Maggie._

They both knew they would spend the rest of their lives trying to prove to each other, that as much as they had been through apart, together they could make stars and galaxies dance.. 

One not so subtle smile, glance and touch at a time.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the Lyrics from the BROODS song "Taking you there" :)

> **_In the dead of night I'll meet you in my sleep_ **

Alex's didn't dream often. 

Nightmare was more the word for what assaulted her while she succumbed to unconsciousness. 

Visions of her loved ones, her family, being torn limb from limb, destruction and mayhem created by those whose soul purpose was to bring fear and obedience to the world, of Maggie leaving her, finally realising she was never going to be good enough and she was cutting her loses. 

No. Alex did not dream often. 

Except when she did. 

That rare occasion when Alex fell into a slumber that brought her visions that really, could only been described as dreams, if she were to repeat them to anyone else, because Alex Danvers life, was far from what you would call picturesque. Her job, which she loved, had her ready for anything at anytime, she had to be prepared for whatever may come and she had to make the hard choices and she had to be brave and strong and wasn't allowed to fall apart when everything else did. 

So that rare occasion when Alex dreamt of peaceful things, she took the escape. And to no ones surprise but her own, her dreams were of  _Maggie._

> **_And in the morning light you'll wake up next to me_ **

It had been a long week and Alex hadn't seen much of Maggie at all. A few phone calls, barely long enough to say the mundane things, like  _hey, how are you? how's your day going?_ and found post it notes, scrawled in the others handwriting;  _Beautiful, Working late tonight, I'll call you. Love Alex_ and Babe, _d_ _on't forget to eat. I know how you get when your stressed and overworked. Hope to see you tonight. Yours M._

Ships in the night. Passing each other ever so closely but never being able to catch sight of each other until it was too late. 

Alex had been dreaming of Maggie when the first slithers of light began to filter into her apartment. She really didn't want to wake from the dream she was having, but apparently her body clock didn't care for pandering to such indulgences as dreaming. It didn't seem to mind when she was writhing and clawing at her sheets as a nightmare ripped its way through her cortex, Alex noted. Sighing contently, she tried to bring a hand up to her face but found a weight settled over her arm, wrapped around her stomach possessively. Butterflies began to dance in her stomach, a sleep filled smile etched its way across her lips.

_Maggie._

She rolled over onto her back, then onto her other side so that she was facing Maggie, careful not to wake her sleeping beauty as she did so. The sight almost made Alex forget how to breathe. She would never forget how stunning Maggie was but, right in that moment, there was no other vista that would ever come close to watching the peaceful vision before her. 

And then her brain kicks in.  _Air goes in, Air goes out._

It's also the moment Maggie chooses to let it be known that she isn't actually sleeping.

"You know its rude to stare Danvers." 

Alex's eyes narrow and her lips purse playfully. "How long have you been awake, lying there like you were asleep?"

Maggie shuffles closer and pulls Alex's body into hers, eyelashes fluttering against her bronze cheeks as she opens her eyes. As soon as she does, a bright smile puts  her dimples on full display and Alex swoons, and kisses her with everything she has, and only relents when her lungs burn and her breath is ragged and she can feel Maggie smile into her lips. 

> **_Like a dream come true I'll take you where I roam_ **

Alex stares after Maggie as she makes her way into the bathroom. A warmth settles in her chest and relaxes back into her pillows but doesn't get to stay that way long as she hears the shower start up... and Maggie's voice filter through 

"Hey Danvers?... you coming or what?" 

If anyone was there to witness it, they would have said that Alex had giggled like a school girl and turned the deepest shade of red. Alex clamped her hand over her mouth to silence her outburst which caused Maggie to poke her head back around the door and playfully narrowed her eyes in Alex's direction.. 

"Really Danvers?.." 

Alex sat up and bit her lip..eyeing Maggie innocently, "What?...I didn't say anything.. You on the other hand.. " 

Maggie sauntered back over to the bed and extended her hand towards Alex, "Whatever you say Danvers.. You coming or what?" 

Alex smiles, cause Alex knows and Alex wants everything that is Maggie, so she grabs Maggie's hand and follows her because if this is a dream she sure as hell doesn't want it to ever end. 

> _**Then follow you back home** _

"You know I'd follow you anywhere Sawyer".

And Maggie knows she would, because Alex Danvers felt like home and there was no other place Maggie would ever want to be.

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie or Alex decide they want to repaint their apartment and maybe more than the walls get paint on them. Take that however you want... :) 
> 
> ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  
> Prompt by the Awesome SQWERL

_Air force blue._

_Arsenic._

_Black bean._

or  _Gold Fusion._

They had both thought it would have been an easy decision. They liked most of the same things as each other, about each other but it had become a decision they had regretted trying to make from the moment it had been whimsically thrown into conversation a few weeks earlier. 

Maggie had been standing, arms crossed over her chest, staring at one of the walls in their apartment, head tilted slightly, as if she was trying to figure out some important fact. Alex was in the kitchen pouring them both a drink when the words slipped out of Maggie's mouth. 

_"Hey babe, what do you think about repainting this wall?"_

The question hadn't even surprised Alex all that much and she chuckled softly as she padded over to Maggie, extending her glass towards her. She had even stood next to her and did the same adorable head tilt that Maggie had been doing only moments earlier. 

_"What's wrong with the color that it is now?"_

Maggie had sipped her drink and shook her head. 

" _No... nothing babe. I... I just figured that since its **our** apartment now, that we could, maybe, ya know, do something to it together." _

Alex placed her drink on the side table next to the sofa and moved to wrap her arms around Maggie from behind, her chin resting on her shoulder, looking at the wall together. They swayed slightly and Maggie lent back into Alex's taller frame, interlocking their fingers over her waist. A warmth spread through Alex's chest, and it wasn't just from the scotch she had been sipping. This was the first time Maggie had called it  _ **their**_ apartment, even though they had been living together permanently for a good month or so now. She smiled into Maggie's shoulder. 

_"I mean.. I.. we don't have to.. I just thought that... it could be something special... and..."_

Maggie had begun to ramble and regret making the inference at all.

" _I know this was your apartment before I got here and we don't have to change a thing cause I love it either way and I..."_

Alex had cut her off then, turned her in her arms and looked into her eyes. 

_"Maggie.... this is **OUR** apartment. What it was before you got here is nothing important anymore.... all that counts is what we make of it now.. Please don't ever feel like you can't do or say or change whatever you want to about this place.. This is your home... our home.. You and me." _

Maggie's heart beat heavily, tears almost welling in her eyes. No one had ever made a declaration like that to her before. She grabbed Alex's face in both hands, thumbs caressing cheeks, fingers on pulse points, lips inches apart. Alex smiled and Maggie almost stopped breathing at the sight. 

_"Margaret Ellen Sawyer... would you repaint this wall with me."_

It was then Maggie's turn to smile, one of Alex's favourite things in the world to see. Maggie's eyes shone and her dimples presented themselves and Alex was in love, even more in love and never wanted to ever not feel this way about Maggie Sawyer. The pair collapsed into each others arms, Maggie's head on Alex's chest, pulling each other in tight. 

_"Yes, Alexandra Danvers.. I would very much like to repaint this wall with you."_

It had begun as such a simple question and turned into a raging inferno. Maggie didn't realise just how many colors there were to choose from and just how into color picking Alex would get... She made charts, brought samples and even tried to come up with her own color in the lab at the DEO; the argument being _how hard could it be I'm a scientist._  It had turned into the nightmare of all projects and Maggie wondered whether they would make it out of this alive, let alone together. It had been a rough ride but they had managed to narrow the choices down to 4 colors; 2 maggie liked and 2 Alex liked. 

Alex:  _Air force blue & Black Bean._

Maggie:  _Arsenic & Gold Fusion._

To narrow it down further they had resorted to picking a color that the other wanted out of a hat. Alex picked _Gold Fusion_ for Maggie and Maggie had picked out  _Air force blue._

One Saturday afternoon when neither of them had been dragged into a life or death crisis, they had moved everything away from the wall and laid down painters sheets to protect the floor. They both stood in front of the wall, rollers in hand, Maggie in an oversized NCPD Tee and Alex in her favourite, worn out red flannel, that Maggie often stole when Alex wasn't home or away on missions for an extended period. They had both decided that it would be best to test out the colors, so each got a section of wall to paint in their color and afterwards they would make the ultimate decision together. 

Paint was poured, rollers in hand, each waiting for the other to make the first move. It was like a mannequin standoff; both in nothing but shirts that barely covered them, hair sexily tied up and the strains of soft jazz filtering through the sound system around them. Ultimately Maggie moved first, a triumphant smirk slipping onto Alex's lips;  _Yes_ she thought _, I won this round._

That was until Maggie bent over at her hips to dip her roller in the paint, the shirt she was wearing riding up over the perfect curve of her butt. And Alex squirmed and Alex bit her lip with desire and Alex felt warmth begin to pool in her core.

Maggie then stretched the roller above her head, rolling it up the wall, standing on her tip toes to reach where she wanted. Alex swallowed, trying to dislodge the cotton wool that had set up shop in her throat. Maggie smirked over her shoulder as she continued to spread the paint across the wall, as Alex dropped her roller, as she stalked forward, hooded eyes staring at her, devouring her, as Alex pushed her up against the wall she had just been painting. 

Maggie gasped as she felt Alex's knee slip between her thighs, as she felt the paint on the wall behind her stick to her hair, as she brought her arms up to rest on Alex's shoulders, paint dripping onto the back of Alex's flannel. It didn't seem to phase her one bit, lips inches from her own, in delicate dance of should we or shouldn't we? Maggie made the choice, of course it was going to be they should, bringing their lips together, Alex moaning into her mouth almost instantly, hands gravitating to Maggie's hips, hoisting her up the wall a little, causing her to wrap her legs around Alex's waist. 

She gripped the wet end of the paint roller in one hand before it clattered to the floor. Paint flicking up over the back of Alex's legs but she didnt care, Maggie surrounded her senses, everything was Maggie and Alex didn't care because  _fuck.._  Maggie was kissing her neck, biting at her pulse point, pushing paint covered hands in her hair No Alex didnt care. 

Alex pulled back as her lungs burned as her heart beat hammered away, as her need and desire for Maggie swelled even more. She needed air. Maggie smiled at her, eyes just as lust filled as Alex's were, her breath came hard and the warmth at her core raged. Alex stared back at her, taking a finger and touching the still wet paint behind her, it came away slick with paint and if Maggie could have seen it for herself, having Alex drag that finger down her cheek and onto her neck, paint smearing in its wake, she would have sworn it was the hottest thing anyone had ever done in her life. 

_"This is the one."_

Alex had breathed out raggedly and Maggie knew she wasn't just talking about the paint color, and her heart beat faster and her smile grew wider and her lips pulled Alex into her. 

 _Yes_ , Maggie thought,  _this was perfect._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this came from.. and I'm sorry its angsty as hell and probably all over the place but I was in a bit of a bad way today and felt i needed to write a story where Maggie just let it all go and Alex was the one who held it all together. 
> 
> Again I'm sorry.. Normal fluff filled Sanvers program will return in the next chapter... 
> 
> And just to make sure you know, it IS okay to be in a bad place, you are trying and you should be proud of yourself. You are loved, you are worthy and the storm will pass.. I love you!

Her chest was tight. 

Breath ragged.

Tears that she didn't want to shed, staining her cheeks as she paced back and forth across Alex's apartment.

Everything had been too much and everything had come crashing down and the wall she kept her emotions in check behind crumbled, and she crumbled with it. The levy had broken and she didnt really know how she was going to piece it back together or if she could or even if she should. 

She paced.  _back and forth_ , _back and forth_.

Maggie silently reprimanded herself for having come over to Alex's apartment, she knew she should be falling apart elsewhere. Alex didnt deserve this. She deserved better, better than Maggie felt that she could give her. 

She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head towards the sky to try and settle the waves of emotions that kept crashing over her every few moments and hurriedly tried to wipe away the tears on her cheeks as she heard Alex's key scraping into the lock. 

"Hey babe! I thought you had the la..te shift" 

Her words caught in her throat and her heart clenched painfully as she took in the sight of her girlfriend trying to hide her sadness and tears.

With soft steps, Alex ventured further into her own apartment, treading carefully, not wanting to upset the already delicate balance around her. Maggie was still pacing across the floor,  _back and forth, back and forth,_ hands wringing, eyes watering, a heavy, gut wrenching sigh ripping through her chest, as she tried to hold back a new wave of emotion that had flooded her system.

Alex tentatively stretched an arm towards Maggie to stop her advancing further, fingers delicately wrapping themselves around Maggie's leather clad forearm. 

"Maggie?"

The concerned warmth in her voice made Maggie's bottom lip tremble and her body instinctively turn away, trying to shield herself from the look of disappointment that inevitably came along with finding her in this state.  _Broken, weak and unworthy of any love, warmth or concern._

She knew what came next. She knew what words would follow that look of disappointment. It always happened. Everyone in the past had put her on a pedestal of being this always strong, never broken soldier that was always on her guard.

And she had tried. Oh how she had tried to be that for Alex. Because she didnt want things to be bad for her, she wanted everything to be better.. and Alex deserved that..

_Deserved better._

Sucking in a deep breath, Maggie released Alex's grip on her arm and walked a few steps away from her, trying to work up the courage to be the first one to give her an out, to give Alex a chance to leave before she got in to deep, before she realised how damaged she really was, before she made the choice for herself.

Alex's brow furrowed.

"Maggie.. what's wrong? Talk to me." 

Alex made to move closer but stopped short when Maggie put a palm up to stop her.

"Don't.." 

She raised her own palms in surrender and Maggie looked at her for the first time since she had walked through the door, her eyes puffy and blood shot.

A silence fell on the room save for the ticking in Alex's mind as to what had happened, as to what she had done and how she was going to fix it. Maggie's breath rattled out of her before she spoke.

"What are we doing here Alex?"

Alex was confused by the question, not that it was a hard one to answer but rather for the fact that she would have expected to hear it if they hadn't been blissfully happy in the past few weeks.. or at least she had thought they were.  _She was.._

Maggie took Alex's silence and filled it with her own explanation. 

"You are new.. in this new space... and I took advantage of that.. I let you let me love you... and it's wrong because I stole that from you and you..."

Alex frowned, a sadness bubbling in her chest... "Maggie, no... I.. this is good...we are good. You and me... what we have is good." She stepped forward, this time not caring if her movements made Maggie jump, maybe they would scare her out of what ever place she was in, make her take back these things she was saying. "Beautiful.. what is going on?" 

Maggie scoffed at the compliment, "Don't... don't do that.." a fresh wave of tears spilling over her cheeks, hands quick to wipe them away. "This isn't going to work Alex.. You know it and I know it. You deserve someone who is better... who is not this..." she waved a hand towards herself, "this damaged.. thing."

Alex could feel her heart literally breaking when the realisation finally hit her as to the mindset Maggie was in. Maggie didn't feel  _worthy_. Alex shook her head and tried to grab hold of Maggie's hands, to anchor her but Maggie stepped back

"No Alex.. I can't.. I gotta.. I gotta go.." 

And she made for the door. 

She was running.

She had to. She couldn't look at the disbelief on Alex's face any longer. 

Alex turned with her. "No. Maggie stop. You don't get to walk away from me... Not like this. You have to give me a little more to work with here." 

Maggie almost laughed and threw her hands in the air.. 

"I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT DANVERS!!!"

The veil coming undone, falling hopelessly to the ground. 

The air bristled with unsaid  _I'm sorrys_ and  _I love_ _yous._

 _"_ I'm.. so tired Alex." The weight of her words sitting squarely on Alex's shoulders, cause she knew, she knew now, she understood. 

"I know babe..." walking towards Maggie as she spoke. "And that's okay.. You're allowed to be tired..." 

Alex grabbed for Maggie's hand and this time she didnt pull it away. "Let me take some of it from you.. Let me carry what's weighing you down.. I know things can be hard and with our lives, and jobs and our families, things are crazy and we don't always get to be the best for each other.. but you need to let me.. We are in this together.. You and me.."

Maggie looked at her, and Alex could see just how tired she was, not just physically but behind that wall she kept up most of the time, the cracks had formed and now brick by brick, piece by piece, it was crumbling and Alex just wanted to plaster over it, repair all of the holes, but she knew that wasn't how things work. Maggie had taught her that. 

"Alex, you don't have to take this on.. take me on.." 

Alex shook her head and put a finger under her chin to bring her eyes back up to hers as she tried to avert her gaze. 

"Hey, I decide what I can take... and this.. right now.. is a part of you.. I'm not running from my feelings anymore.. I'm not running from you.. This storm won't last forever Maggie.. I'm not that strong, not as strong as you..Honestly I'm not but you always see the best in me.. and you hold me up when I'm crashing down, when I'm crumbling and it's not a choice for me Maggie, being with you..It's not something I  _take on_.. its because I love you.. because I'm in love with you.. and if you need to be tired, if you need to yell and scream and cry and break things.. then thats fine too but just be all of those things with  _me._ " 

Tears slipped their way down Maggie's cheeks and a heavy sob wracked her body as Alex pulled her in tightly against her chest, chin nestled against Alex's shoulder, arms gripping on to her for dear life. 

And Maggie broke further. 

"You're okay Mags, you're safe here.. I've got you."

Everything fell away. She gripped Alex as tight as she could, as tears fell, as guttural sobs left her throat and she became a mess..

And Alex held her. Never faltering, never letting go, whispering soothing words,  _I love you, you're okay, I've got you.._

This was new ground for Maggie. Never had she felt safe enough to let everything go, to just collapse in on herself. She always felt like she couldn't, like she was weak, like she wasn't worthy of feeling on the edge of letting everything go...

But standing in the middle of Alex's apartment, held tightly by Alex's arms, she knew that from then on things were going to be different. she knew she could feel like a wreck and still be seen as this person of worth by the person she loved more than anything in this world.. 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has had a long day... but it ends just perfectly

It had been a long day. 

From sun up till well past sundown, Alex had been go go go and the tension that had built in her neck and shoulders actually felt like it was weighing her down.

She sighed as she pulled off her full body tactical gear and checked and logged all weapons and other gear back into the DEO armoury. Yes it had been a very long day and Alex was feeling it emotionally and physically. 

Her phone buzzing in her pocket pulled her out of her haze just enough to recognise the text she had just received was from Maggie. 

_Can't wait to see you xx_

A smile ghosted across her lips and her stomach flip flopped happily.It still astounded her how Maggie made her feel. Even just a text from Maggie made Alex's day 100 times better.. She sent a quick reply, _On my way home now.. see you real soon babe xx,_ pulled on her favourite leather jacket and made her way to the auto bay where her Ducati sat waiting. 

She rode  _fast_ , feeling the pull of the corners, knee butterflying close to the ground and her heart syncing to the hum of her engine. C _lutch. Gear. Tear open the throttle._ It was one of the few things that made Alex feel fully in control and if she was honest with herself, she had originally gotten it as apart of her rebelliousness and to make her feel anything else, to feel  _something_ at all.

As she pulled into her usual spot out the front of her apartment and removed her helmet, a contented sigh rippled through her tired bones. 

* * *

Maggie lent against the marble counter top, standing only in Alex's favourite red flannel and boy shorts, as she heard her key graze the lock and the door open. 

She smiled brightly as her battle weary soldier stepped across the threshold, shoulders slumped, tired eyes searching for her. Alex stopped in her tracks as she saw Maggie standing before her. Her mouth dry, breath catching in her throat, heart full.

"Hey Danvers.."

Alex strode forward and stood before Maggie, removed her gun from its holster and placed it on the bench behind Maggie, trapping her in her arms. Lips barely a ghosts breath apart.

"Hey..." 

Her voice barely registered to her own brain but Maggie smiled brighter, dimples on full display.

"Long day babe?"

All Alex could do was nod, and place a feathery kiss to Maggie's lips. Maggie smiled into the light kiss and began to push Alex's leather jacket off her shoulders. It hit the floor with a thud softer than the huff of breath Alex let go along with it.

Alex lent her head against Maggie's shoulder, bending slightly. Maggie ran a comforting hand up and down Alex's back and they just stood for a few moments silently checking in with each other after another long and exhausting day.

Without further words, Maggie coaxed Alex towards their now shared bathroom. Alex followed tiredly along behind her girlfriend, happy to be lead anywhere as long as Maggie was there. 

Maggie pushed the door open and Alex once again stopped walking and looked at Maggie misty eyed. 

The bathroom was dimly lit by candles scattered around the edge of the bath which was filled with water that Alex could guess was perfectly tempered just for her.

"Babe...." Alex breathed out.

"I knew you would've had a long, hard day and I wanted you to be able to come and just relax and de- stress." 

Maggie was rambling, she knew she was but it was all she could do as Alex stared at her with so much love and gratitude. 

"So... yeah I'll just leave you to..." Maggie made to leave but Alex stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. 

"No.. please.. stay... Join me?" Alex's eyes were hopeful and gently pleaded. She really didnt want to be alone and Maggie was the perfect remedy for anything Alex was feeling right now. 

As Maggie's body slid in behind hers, the hot water enveloping them, she hoped to never lose this feeling, of gratitude.. of  _Love._

She lent back against Maggie's chest and began to relax, Maggie's fingers trailing delicate musings up and down her arms, lips placing gentle kisses to her temple and the back of her neck. 

Alex vowed she would try to always make Maggie feel like she did in this moment. 

 _Safe_ and so very much in  _love._

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would love to read a jealous Sanvers chapter... maybe someone trying to get a date with Maggie. It would be fun to read!!
> 
> ^ ^ ^ ^  
> Prompt from Guest1 who left a lovely comment on the last chapter..
> 
> It probably will venture off in a random direction just like everything but hope you enjoy it anyways :)

* * *

 

It flickers green, sometimes a hot red and she _knows_.

She knows it's ridiculous and pointless and down right inconvenient. 

It rears its head, provoked by the smallest of things. A  _glance_ , a perfectly timed _smile_ , a soft  _laugh_ at something said. 

It flashes behind her eyes first, like an old bare bulb upon the flick of it's switch. It sputters until it doesn't, until it's coil has heated enough to sustain the light completely. Alex can feel it as it builds, the tension in her gut, her shoulders, her hands, all the way up to her tensed jaw as a hand that's not hers skates its way across Maggie's leather clad arm.

It sparks a fire then.  _Red Hot_.

It makes her twitch and fidget. But she tries, oh how she tries to control it. Because Alex doesn't get jealous, until she does.

The bar was lively when Alex walked in. She had messaged Maggie earlier to let her know that she still had a few things to finish up at the DEO and that she would meet her at the bar when she was done. 

It was half nine by the time Alex had trudged through the door of the bar, the stress of the day still evident in her dragged feet, slumped shoulders and glazed eyes.  She waved at M'gann and attempted to smile but it didnt quite reach her eyes and as if answering the silent question of "point me in Maggie's direction", M'gann cocked her head to the back of the bar where the pool tables sat.

Alex chuckled, of course Maggie was by the pool tables, the girl needed all the practice she could get.

 Alex rounded the bar and lent on the very corner for a moment, ordering a drink. She just wanted to lay eyes on Maggie for a little bit before joining her. So as Alex palmed her beer and turned to look in the direction of Maggie's favourite pool table, expecting to see Maggie chasing the balls across the table, she wasn't prepared to feel that spark, that flare of green that blurred her vision slightly. 

Her brow furrowed and she blinked furiously trying to correct her vision, to make sure what she was seeing was real. 

Sure Maggie was there and she was chasing the balls around the table, but the woman that had attached herself to Maggie's every move, surely had to be a mirage, right? A burst of laughter from the table threw Alex back into reality.

Yep, this was happening and so was Alex's growing  urge to cold cock the girl in the face for even breathing in close proximity to Maggie.

Sliding onto the bar stool, Alex turned so she was facing away from the table, to try and quell the rising green beast that seemed to be rearing its ugly head more often these days.

She took a swig of her beer and then a deep breath.

 _Swig_. _Breath_ , _relax_.

By the time Alex felt okay enough to even turn back to the table her beer was done and everything had quietened down a little around her. She breathed a sigh of relief? of thanks? as she looked over to see Maggie by herself wracking for another game.  Alex felt the green flashes subside, the growl in the pit of her stomach quieten and her jaw release it's tension. 

After ordering another round for Maggie and herself, she wandered nonchalantly over to where Maggie stood.  As soon as Maggie looked up, Alex felt everything melt away, her smile brightening even the darkest crevices of her soul. 

"Danvers!!"

The simple greeting filled with so much warmth, passion and love?  Alex leans back against the table next to Maggie and offers her the beer in her hand. 

"Hey Sawyer.."

And she accepts it, of course she would, she always would. She leans in and kisses Alex softly. She does so as a check in with her girlfriend.

Maggie had noticed Alex always seemed to revert to her shy, introverted self when they were out in public, even if they were just at the bar, until Maggie reassures her that she is okay and that what they have is nothing different to anyone else and that its okay to show it in public. 

A dreamy smile drifts across Alex's lips as Maggie pulls back, her finger tips ghosting the hem of Alex's shirt near her hips, and the green eyed monster is all but forgotten as the pair joke and tease each other around the table. 

"Okay Sawyer, thats game.. and I won which means this round is on you.." 

Alex stands directly in front of Maggie leaning lightly on the pool cue in her hands, a soft smile ghosting her lips, her eyes displaying a hint of mischief. Maggie smirks back at her and pecks her lips. 

"You ever think that I'm actually letting you win every time..?"

Alex raises a playfull curious eyebrow and her small smile blossoms across her face. 

"Pfft get out of it Sawyer, I think I would know if you could play pool and actually beat me.. " 

Maggie steps right into Alex's personal space, her elbows resting on Alex's shoulders, her dimples on full display. 

"Oh ok... well I'm gonna go and get us another round and we will see who is who then.." 

Her lips graze Alex's but she moves just as Alex goes to kiss her. Alex almost scoffs as Maggie walks away smirk plastered across her beautiful face. 

Alex wracks the balls and waits for Maggie to return.. Leaning against the side of the table she looks across the bar to where Maggie is standing, her arms crossed in front of her leaning on the edge of the bar. Alex's heart does that little flip flop thing it always does when she sees Maggie because this was it for Alex, nothing had ever felt this good or this right or this  _perfect_. 

She never understood what a relationship was meant to feel like before Maggie came along and she wouldn't change it for anything but she also knew other things came along with it.. and just like it did before, she felt the pricks of green blur the edges of her vision as the woman who had been playing pool with Maggie earlier, stepped up to her once again. 

No Alex thought. Enough was enough. She took a few steps towards the pair to catch the edge of their convo..

 _"So.. I was thinking.. you, me and that motorcycle of yours could hang out again sometime."_ The woman moved so her body was flush with Maggie's, blue eyes sparkling, cherry red lip between her teeth.

Alex froze. Heart hammering away in her chest. Everything around her went silent and she headed out of the bar, not wanting to hear Maggie's inevitable  _Sure thing gorgeous._ And why wouldn't she. The other woman was drop dead gorgeous and perfect and Alex wasn't..

Alex was well...  _Alex._  

She was new and didnt know anything and anyone would be better than she was. Her mind went over and over it as she rode home, taking the corners too  _fast_ , opening the throttle to  _violently_. 

As Maggie turned from the woman, back towards the table and she was sure the waiting Alex, she spotted only a newly wracked table. 

She frowned. She could have sworn she left Alex standing right  _THERE_. 

Maggie turns back to the bar and M'gann noticed her look of confusion. 

"Everything okay Maggie?" 

Maggie frowned and put the drinks back on the bar. 

"Um.... I'm not sure." 

She flicked her head back towards the pool table, hoping Alex had reappeared but no..

"Oh, if your looking for Alex she left like 5 minutes ago.. Looked a little upset."

Dread began to pool in the pit of Maggie's stomach. M'gann lent across the bar a little. 

"Might have thought you'd found better when you were talking to that woman a few minutes ago."

Maggie's eyes grew misty and she scoffed at M'gann's ludicrous suggestion. 

"There is no one better.." 

M'gann shrugged and went back to wiping the bar in front her, "Might wanna remind her of that."

Maggie flew out the door of the bar and jumped on to her Triumph and just like Alex had took corners too  _fast_ and rode too  _fast_ until she pulled up in front of Alex's apartment and parked her motorcycle next to her Ducati. 

* * *

Alex sat on her sofa wrapped in a blanket, scotch in hand. 

She sipped the amber liquid and relished in the way it burnt down her throat. It was the exact same feeling she used to chase before. All those wild nights drinking and dancing and having meaningless encounters with men whose only concern was their own, she chased to feel, to feel normal, to feel like she was worth something to someone, to just feel  _anything_. 

Her mind flashed back to the very first time that Maggie had rejected her. She had sat on this very sofa and felt this very same burn.. it had turned out better then. 

She sighed as a soft knock on the door permeated her apartment but made no effort to remover herself from her position. 

It was Maggie. She knew it was. Because Maggie always knocked, always made sure that Alex was okay for her to enter before she did so.. but this time Alex gave no verbal affirmation. 

_"Alex... It's me... Are you okay? Can I come in?"_

Nothing but silence reverberated back at her.. 

Alex took a long swig of her drink as she heard Maggie's key slide into the lock and the door open. 

Maggie placed her keys on the table next to the door and padded softly over to where Alex sat, kneeling before her.

"Hey... what's going on? What happened back at the bar?"

Alex's gaze was firmly glued to the glass in her hands but Maggie could see her eyes were puffy and rimmed red from crying. Her heart constricted painfully knowing that somehow she had been the cause

She placed a gentle hand on Alex's leg and lifted her chin to look into her eyes.

Silence flirted between the pair for a brief moment before Maggie spoke.

"Babe... Talk to me."

Fresh tears welled in Alex's eyes as she looked down at Maggie, her face filled with nothing but concern, compassion and love. Alex sucked in a wet breath before she spoke.

"You don't have to be here Maggie. You don't have to make sure that little Alex Danvers is okay. I'm sure you would rather be back at the bar playing pool with..with that other girl... she seems to have taken a liking to you and you...."

Alex's voice trailed off and she looked away. Maggie frowned hard as the realisation dawned on her. 

Maggie's mind played back her night at the bar. Playing pool with that blonde woman and her encounter with her at the bar. Alex must have seen both occasions and thought that she was shopping around elsewhere... For better. 

Her mind flip flopped... confusion skating across her soft features There was no one  _better_. 

There was just Alex, Alex, Alex.. 

"You.. think.."

Maggie struggled to even process how Alex could feel like she didnt want her.. 

Alex breathed out slowly, fingers playing with the rim of her glass. 

"She asked you out on a date." It was whispered, like if it was said any louder it would automatically be come fact and Maggie would disappear right before her eyes.

"When you went back to the bar for another round, she was there and she was beautiful and everything I'm not, obviously because she knows her way around. Knows who she is and... and.. I just. I saw you when I got there, playing pool with her. She was touching your arm like I would and..." 

Maggie connected the dots then...

"And you got jealous because..."

It wasn't a question but Alex bit her lip, eyes shining with tears, and answered anyway.

"Because I'm the only one whose allowed to put hands on you... not that I own you or anything but..." Alex was rambling because she didn't want to over step and make Maggie feel pressured or anything.

"Oh babe..." Maggie smiled softly at her and took the drink from her hands, got up and slid onto the couch behind her, leaning Alex back into her chest, arms wrapped around her.. 

"Alexandra Danvers. You do own me... Every part of me." She placed light kisses to Alex's hair and temple, breathing in the scent that was uniquely her. 

Alex played with Maggie's finger tips, feeling like a little kid that had misunderstood something. 

"So.. you didnt want to take her on a date." Alex felt Maggie shake her head and continue laying soft kisses to her temple.

"I think you might have left before you heard me tell her,  _Sorry, but no- one rides me or my triumph but Agent Alex Danvers from the FBI. She's the badass standing over by the pool table waiting for me to return with this round so, yeah. Thanks but she's all I'm ever gonna need._ " 

Maggie felt Alex's chest constrict and a little sob wrack her body. She pulled Alex to the side, to look at her tear streaked face, putting a finger under her chin to make sure Alex held her gaze and heard her clearly.

"And I meant every word Alex. You are badass, and perfect and everything that is good in this world and maybe i don't tell you enough and I should because you are the only thing I am ever going to need again."

Alex nodded slightly and leant into Maggie's touch..

"Even with my jealousy..."

Maggie laughed and kiss her fully.

"All of you Danvers. Always."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another song inspired fic... This time its Fine Without me by Alice Olivia

* * *

 

>    **Don't tell me what you think of me,** **It makes it harder in the long run.**

Maggie's stomach clenches as the words slip from Alex's lips. 

_"I think you're a great cop."_

They echo through her for a moment until the pit of her stomach fills with fear and she's drowning; drowning in hope, drowning in feelings she knows aren't allowed, that she shouldn't and can't be having. 

But its Alex, perfect kind, all that is good in the world, new to herself, Alex.

Maggie's eyes never betray her but it was becoming harder and harder to contain her energies around the agent. 

But she knows, lord does she know that she can't pursue anything with Alex, but when she says things like  _that_ , makes her  _hope_ , makes her  _feel_ like that things could be different for them, it gets hard. 

Maybe she should just stop their interactions all together, then it wouldn't allow Alex the chance to get caught up in the allure of something new, would allow Maggie to distance herself, would stop her from dragging Alex into something she wasn't ready for.

So she deflects and hides behind her fear because she knows it would make things harder on the outset and she just could bare the thought of destroying the person Alex was, not for her own selfish wants and needs. 

 

>    **But on the inside when you look at me like that, I weaken. My soul splits then.**

But then Alex looks at her. Not with disdain, not with pity and not with contempt but rather a kindness, a softness that says  _you're worth something, I respect you, I **trust** you._  

And Maggie's heart twists and it breaks and she feels her control slipping further and further away. 

Alex trusts, and Alex sees her, for who she is, who she could be? and everything holding her back seems to fade in moments just like this. Alex smiles at her and she sees nothing but stars and worlds colliding and breath thats hard to come by. 

It leaves her shattered, emotions high and her soul battling with her heart and mind.. No she can't do this, can she?

No.

She needs to draw the line. Alex would be fine with out her. Maggie knows that for a fact, knows that anything more than friends would break her. 

But it does break, it shatters like the windshield of a car colliding with another at high speed because Alex knows what she wants now, knows that she can feel these things and Maggie continues to try but Alex's lips on hers cloud her mind, just for a moment and it is glorious and painful and everything she could ever hope of feel every again. 

Mere moments, seconds tick by and she comes to her senses again, she pulls away, and she knows its too late but she has to push on, she has to give Alex a chance to be for herself, and learn and experience and be everything she can be for someone better than her.. 

_"Wow"_

_"I've been wanting to do that."_

_"Yeah, I can tell."_

_"Was that not okay?"_

_"You didn't do anything wrong."_

_"But something's wrong."_

_"Well, we're at really different places....And everything is changing for you....And everything is going to feel really heightened and shiny....And, um, you should experience that for yourself. Not just to be with me..... And I shouldn't get involved with someone who's just fresh off the boat.Those relationships never really work out."_

She rushes through it because if she doesn't she'll back out and she will grab this amazingly perfect woman in front of her and make sure she knows that she is the stars and the universe and everything in between. She barely breathes as the last words fall from her lips.

_"I'm here for you, but as a friend."_

And once again her stomach twists into knots and the urge to throw up rises up her throat as Alex's form retreats away from her, tears welling in her eyes, her faith in anything Maggie could have given her gone..

 

>   **And I won't say how much I cry, Track marks look less bad on the outside.**

She goes home, and she cries and she destroys herself in work outs and pummels her self anguish until all thats left is bruises and cuts and a hole in her soul that she knows will get deeper, with swallow the rest of her eventually. 

As she collapses against the wall on the workout room in her apartment, bag swinging absentmindedly from the force of her last set, she replays the scene from the bar for at least the umpteenth time.

Everything had been normal. She had smiled at Alex as she approached, noticing how much lighter she appeared to be. Everything had seemed normal, better than normal actually, because Alex came out to her sister Kara and she was there to collect on a drink Maggie had promised her, a drink that Maggie was more than happy to buy her. She knew how had that part of coming into yourself was and telling your loved ones, the ones most important to you, was aways rough but a necessary step in feeling like yourself. She was happy for Alex that perhaps the most important person in Alex's life now knew how she felt and who her true self was.

It was a drink Maggie had brought herself, all those years ago, a drink she wished someone had brought for her, had helped her through. So she was happy to do it for Alex, try and be the person she herself wished had been around, a friend. 

But Maggie knew that  _friend_ was far from what either of them wanted to be for each other. 

She watches in her mind as Alex walks away from her again but this time doesn't stop the tears that track their way down her cheeks and she cries until, she can't anymore, until the wraps on her wrist hurt and her head is swimming with what she can do to make this better. She needs Alex to know that she is still there for her, even if it is just as a friend.  

So when she sees her at a crime scene she feels a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay. That was until she opened her mouth. 

" _Huh, Danvers, I was just texting you."_

_"I need you to lay off Guardian."_

_"You mean National City's masked serial killer? No way."_

_'He's not a killer, Maggie."_

_"You're targeting the wrong guy."_

_"Okay, I'm listening."_

_"That's it."_

_"If you want me to drop my prime murder suspect, you gotta give me more than that."_

_"I can't._.. _i_ _t's classified."_

_"Come on, Alex._... _We're friends."_

_"No, Maggie, we're not friends."_

_"Oh...Okay, I'm lost. What happened?"_

_"We hung out, we got close, then you called me out for liking you, and then I had the guts to admit, Yes, it's true And you told me that my feelings were real and that I deserved to be happy, and so I thought you meant I deserved to be happy with you."_

_"Alex -"_

_"No, no, no. I'm not done. Because then you convinced me to come out to my sister. And I did, because I was sure of one thing. And that was my feelings for you. Initially, I was terrified But ultimately, I was proud to come out because it wasn't just some concept. It was about my feelings for this amazing woman. But now? I don't feel liberated, or like I'm on some great journey. All I feel is pain because you don't want me."_

And Maggie watches as Alex breaks and stands up for herself.

And Maggie knows, as hard as she had tried, she knows that she did that to her. Marked her, left bruises where only perfection should exist.

Somehow, despite of her efforts, despite herself, Maggie knew now, that Alex was going to be on her mind and that Alex, although hurting, would probably forgive her anyway.

 

> **You're now the addict of my love, my hit and run. It's not worth it, You know I'm not worth this.**

So Maggie knocks, and she waits and she hopes that Alex will answer, because there is a lot she needs to say, needs to explain.

As the door opens she smiles because it is Alex. She hadn't sent someone else blow her off or Kara to throw her across the galaxy. It was her and she is a glorious ball of non- caring feelings and Maggie understood.

_"Hey."_

_"Um what are you, um what are you doing here?"_

_"I really need to talk to you. And if you give me two minutes of your time, I promise I'll get out of your hair."_

_"Two minutes."_

_"I heard everything you said. I get it, and if you never want to talk to me again, I'll respect that, I'll disappear... but I don't meet many people that I care about and I care about you.. a lot. You've become really important to me and um, I hope that one day, you and I could be friends... because I don't want to imagine my life without you in it."_

The words had slipped from her mouth before she could stop them, before she even knew what she was saying. She had obviously intended to explain to Alex but she hadn't counted on Alex actually opening the door, not really, hadn't counted on Alex letting her explain, hadn't counted on her mind abandoning her logically thought explanation and opting for the truth.

Maggie eyed Alex for a moment, a long silence echoing around where they stood at Alex's from door. Her heart was pounding, blood rushing in her ears and it almost ran cold as Alex turned from her and headed towards her door without a word.

What had she expected? really? This was what she wanted wasn't it? for Alex to give up on her, to want to run away, to find something better for herself?

But Alex turned back to her, hand on the door. 

_"Pool... Tomorrow night?"_

_"Wouldn't miss it."_

And as she watched the door close, she can't help but feel like some sort of dealer, handing out drugs, drawing people in, corrupting their ability to exist without her. Her mind had gone and made it impossible for Alex to know any better and quite frankly Maggie had begun to try not to care.

 

> **But I'm in the places that you've been before**

Maggie makes sure she's early to get their favourite table. She nervous and she's curious and she's worried.

Nervous at how it was going to go, curious as to where they were going from here and worried about whether she had corrupted one of the only good people left in her life.

But she was at the bar, their bar? and it felt comfortable and it felt like a safe enough environment for them to try and fix what ever Maggie had broken.

Maggie smiled yo herself as the memories from previous times flooded her mind. It had quickly become one of her favourite places, well it already was but since she had introduced Alex to it, the time spent here losing and laughing and feeling like she belonged to more than just herself, had become something she hoped to preserve. 

She was brought out of her thoughts by Alex placing a gentle hand on her arm, a soft smiled on her face, two beers in hand, one she extends to Maggie.

_"Hey Danvers!"_

She smiles back, hoping to quell her nerves, her curiosity, her worry and hope. 

And it works. They play pool. They talk and they laugh. The ease of it all almost makes Maggie forget.. Almost.

>  
> 
> **Don't shut your eyes, cause they're beautiful**

A few weeks had passed and Maggie had felt like they were somewhat back to normal; more like they both were ignoring the situation all together. They worked cases together, had drinks after work and played pool with their? friends.

That was until Maggie had been shot in the field and Alex had expertly patched her up. Soft hands, piecing together broken skin with a delicacy that Maggie felt only Alex could provide her. She had then told Maggie it wasn't about her; her coming out. Of course she liked her but she had come to realise that it was about being comfortable with herself and not just about being in a relationship. 

Maggie had listened but also decided a few things herself.

So there she stood at Alex's door, beer in one hand, pizza in the other. Alex had answered, in all her glory, all of her cute pyjamas. 

Everything had come to a point. Maggie had thought long and hard, had decided that it wasn't fair on Alex to push her away for how she felt and wasn't fair to herself either. 

  _"Is everything okay?_  "

_"Mmm Um Well, here's the thing. I I almost died."_

_"Uh, yeah. No, I would not have let that happen."_

_"Wait. I know that, but, um It got me thinking that I I was so stupid. I thought that And I guess I was kind of right, that you came out for me. And that scared me. Um But, um Life is too short. And we should be who we are. And we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss. And I really just I I want to kiss you."_

And she does. She kisses Alex with everything she has, but also like she could disappear at any moment. 

She pulls back and looks at Alex, standing before her, eyes closed. She smiles and just stares until Alex opens her eyes and looks at her, a new lightness to her, a warmth spreading through her. 

And Maggie swears she could look into those eyes forever because they were one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and if it took forever to make sure Alex knew that Maggie would do everything in her power to make forever last as long as she could. 

  
  


 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie take a moment after the crazy of Alex being taken... Hopeful and fluffy

The morning light filtered through the the tops of the trees that whisked by. The silent beat of the passing yellow lines, sent a rhythmic pulse into her chest just as the beating of the heart from the woman huddled in behind her, sent through a warmth to her soul. 

That warmth spread throughout her body as small but strong hands grip the leather of her jacket, looking for stability and adventure just like the rolling curves of the road before them, like the leaves falling from fall logged trees lining their way towards serenity. 

If she was honest, the serenity had already surrounded her, had already gripped her soul, pulled her from the darkest depths of the abyss. The peace roared in her ears, just like the thrum of her motorcycle, shifting gears, collecting miles like pennies tossed into the Trevi fountain of Rome. 

She had always felt most free hugging the curves of the road, feeling the slight breeze through a small gap in her armour, both the leather that clung to her body and the emotional that burnt in her soul. It gave her a sense of knowing, of direction, even when she rode to nowhere in particular, no destination set, no course laid out, when she just rode. 

But now? Her freedom was not defined by the two wheels gripping the road, by her knees butterflying across distances far greater than she could ever dreamed to cross but rather by the gentle smile that blossomed across the face of the woman behind her, by her breath ghosting across the back of her neck, by the way her heart beat both perfectly in sync as well as 100 times faster whenever they were together. 

A fire burnt within her now. A soft spark sent roaring into a massive blaze of crumbling memories, of meaningless encounters, of lonely nights obliterating bottles of scotch, of the feeling of never being enough. It didnt cause her pain but rather had begun to heal the fractures of past dalliances, soothing the sting of alcohol fuelled nights were strangers hands gripped and pulled at her, searching only for their immediate pleasure and nothing else, quelling her fear of knowing she would be alone forever because she had to exist for everyone rather than herself. 

As the road painted itself before her, she knew that only one thing would matter for the rest of her life; the distances she travelled, the things she saw, the thing she achieved, would always pale unless she was accompanied by the woman, whose strong arms trusted her, held on to her, sort safety and comfort from her, nestled behind her. 

The thrum of the engine slowed; clutch, down shift, decelerate. Warm rubber sizzled on fresh, green blades of grass as she pushed out her kick stand, folding the motorcycle to left, so it sat steady on its spire. Arms tightened around her waist and a chin nestled against her shoulder as she removed her helmet. 

 

“It’s beautiful Alex.”

 

Honey smooth tones vibrated through her, making her guts melt, her heart preen and her soul burst with nothing but pure love because, _Maggie, Maggie, Maggie._

Extricating herself from her Ducati and the woman behind her, Alex waited for Maggie to do the same, taking the backpack she had offered to wear so she could better grip onto Alex as their journey took them around hairpin bends, down highways at speed and through valleys of unimaginable beauty. 

Alex couldn't help but smile. In that moment, everything seemed like it had always existed, like she hadn't had to spend too many years of her life struggling to find the connection. The pair stood and looked out before them. Pure white fluffy clouds peppered a perfect blue sky, only to be out done by the warmth of the suns rays above them. The thoughts of a city needing protection fizzled as a green field peppered by blue blossom flowers stretched out before them, as mountains protected the horizon, a and solitary tree stood guard. 

Maggie’s hand slipped into hers and Alex lead them down a little used path towards the tree that stood witness to everything that the world offered it. Placing the backpack at its base, Alex slipped her arm around Maggie from behind, hands around her waist, head resting against Maggie’s own. Although Alex couldn’t see it, she knew that Maggie was in full dimple mode, smile igniting her eyes, like the sun that would greet them when it began its fall. 

 

“It really is beautiful Alex.”

 

Maggie turned around in her arms, full of love, full of appreciation, full of forever. Alex smiled down at her, hoping to whatever divine being existed that Maggie could tell just how much she loved her, cherished her, would probably be dead without her. 

Unpacking a blanket from the backpack, Alex spread it out and extended a hand to help Maggie sit down in front of her. The pair sat in a comfortable silence, Maggie’s fingers tracing delicate musings up and down Alex’s arms that were wrapped around here, securing her, grounding her. 

 

“You know, I used to come out her a lot before I met you.”

 

Maggie craned herself to the side and looked at Alex curiously.

 

“Why’d you stop?”

 

Alex bit her lip and shrugged slightly. If she was honest with herself, she couldn't really pin point an exact reason as to why but she figured it was just a little bit of everything.

 

“Life I guess. You know. I started working at the DEO. I had to take care of Kara. Just a little bit of everything getting in the way and the trips just stopped.”

 

Maggie nodded, resting her head back on Alex’s shoulder and looked out into the field, a slight breeze conducting a symphony with the grass as the percussion line and the blue blossom flowers projecting vividly as the string section. 

 

“I used to have a place I would go to back in Blue Springs.. sorta like this actually. It was off the track, secluded and where no one would ever think to look for me.”

 

Alex’s heart constricted a little; the hint of sadness in Maggie’s voice grabbing hold of her.

 

“Maggie I’m..”

 

Maggie shook her head. “No, Alex its okay. It was a good place. A safe place..” A soft, slightly sad smile gracing her lips as the memories passed through her mind. Alex tightened her arms around her and kissed her temple, “ You’re my safe place Mags… you know that right? You save me.”

 

Maggie shifted out of Alex’s arms and sat so she was facing her. “I save you?” 

 

Alex smiles, eyes shining with nothing but love and appreciation, “everyday… I know things haven't been easy lately. I know I haven't been easy lately since…” 

Maggie shakes her head and cups Alex’s cheek with her hand, “Babe.. you were kidnapped. Taken against your will and we almost lost you.. You are allowed to not be okay for as long as you need.” 

 

Alex leans forward and kisses Maggie soundly, breathing everything into something she had almost lost. Pulling back, Maggie’s eyes were awash with unshed tears and Alex wanted nothing more than to make sure she was there for everything single one that fell, for the good, the bad and every damn thing in between. Rising up, Alex extended a hand to Maggie to help her up as well. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it right. 

Watching a tide of confusion, surprise and curiosity paint its way across the delicate features of Maggie’s face, Alex delved into the pocket of her leather jacket, hand gripping the precious cargo that was safely stowed there.

 

“I never thought that I would find myself or you. I always thought that relationships and love and intimacy and anything good in life just wasn't meant for me… and then you came along and I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Yes, you saved me… continue to save me, everyday… and I want every first with you always, every single thing.. because there is nothing in this world that could change the distance from my universe and forever…because while it makes no sense what so ever, on any level, you are both of those things… and if thats what inexplicability is… let my universe forever be unexplainable…”

 

Alex pulls out the small black box from her pocket and kneels down in front of a shocked and tear ladened Maggie.. “ Will you spend forever with me, being perfectly inexplicable..” 

 

Tears streak their way down Maggie’s cheeks as she nods, smiling, dimples on full display, extending a hand towards Alex to help her up.. 

Alex smiles and kisses Maggie fully, kisses her soft, kisses her with everything she could hope to give her in the future because _Maggie, Maggie, Maggie._

 

_“_ So you’re saying yes right? cause thats what I got” 

 

Maggie laughs, and shakes her head, “Nerd.” 

 

Alex slides the ring onto Maggie’s finger and and Maggie kisses her again, her heart beating proudly and without constriction for the first time. 

 

“Of course its a yes Alex… because.. You save me to.” 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is up with Maggie..

Moonlight filtered through the gently blowing curtains of their bedroom window. It had felt unseasonable hot lately and Maggie had taken to opening the window before they went to bed. Leaning up on an elbow, Maggie watched the gentle rise and fall of Alex’s chest. She didnt know when she had started to watch Alex sleep but it had become a nightly ritual, a sort of safety net. She knew Alex was in this for real but Maggie couldn't help but sometimes feel like it could all be taken away at any moment, and if she was honest with herself, that could be at any minute of any day when she considered what both of them did for a living. It was a comfort to know that Alex was there and she was safe and everything was still alright at least for the time being. 

 

Alex shifted slightly, rolling closer to where Maggie was lying, a contented sigh slipping from sleepy lips. It made Maggie smile, even in the dark her dimples on full display, as she gently tucked a few loose strands of hair behind Alex’s ear.

 

“I love you..” 

 

The words bit into the dark and echoed around the room, and with a delicate, barely there kiss to Alex’s lips, Maggie dragged the words back into her soul. She lay back down, satisfied that everything was still okay and that the world wouldnt end if she wasn't there to watch over it. As soon as her back hit the mattress, Alex shuffled closer and wrapped sleep laden arms around Maggie’s waist. Maggie mirrored the action, making sure Alex was secure, head resting on her chest. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

The first dregs of sunlight had begun to pierce her vision and she stretched across the bed to make her body follow her mind in waking up. Her arm sailed across the other side of the bed, expecting to hit the sleeping form of Alex but found only an already cold, empty space. Sitting up she eyed the clock on the table beside her, still early. Alex was probably out for her morning run she mused silently, but a sound from the direction of the kitchen pulled Maggie to her feet. She padded barefoot across the living room and to the edge of the kitchen. 

 

A smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth at the sight before her. Alex, in boy shorts and Maggie’s NCPD shirt, dancing to what ever song was playing from the headphones in her ears, putting Maggie’s favourite brand of bagel into the toaster. Maggie bit her lip as she followed the sway of Alex’s hips, the movement drawing her in. Careful not to startle her, Maggie slid her hands around Alex’s waist and onto the bench top in front of her, locking her in. 

 

Alex sighed contently and lent back slightly as Maggie smiled into a kiss on the back of her neck. 

 

“Good morning Detective.” 

 

The quip made Maggie’s stomach flip flop, just like everything else about Alex. 

 

“Hmmm.. I’d wondered where you'd gotten to.” 

 

As if on cue the toaster popped.

 

“Breakfast.. Your bagels wont double toast themselves babe..” 

 

Maggie rested her chin on Alex’s shoulder and hummed lyrically, the smell of toasted bagel and freshly brewed coffee assaulting her senses. Still in Maggie’s arms Alex removed the bagel from the toaster and tore a bit off, holding it up for Maggie to bite, smiling as she did so. 

 

The two fell into a comfortable silence. Maggie leaning against the bench, munching on the bagel Alex had prepared for her, Alex going about cleaning up. Once she was done the pair stood opposite each other, enjoying their respective breakfasts. Alex was the first to break the silence.

“So, I felt you toss around a bit last night. Everything okay?” 

 

Maggie froze as the words slipped from Alex’s lips, surprised at the concern; a question rather than an accusation. A sheepishly embarrassed, guilty look printed itself on her face as she sipped her coffee, trying to hide behind the mug. A slight flush to her skin brought a smirk to Alex’s lips. Stepping towards her, Alex grabbed the mug and held in in her hands, fingers wrapping around Maggie’s, eyes shining. 

 

“If I didnt know you better detective, I would say you were embarrassed about something.” 

 

Maggie’s eyes flitted from Alex’s hands with hers wrapped around the mug to her lips. She swallowed thickly. She knew she had been caught out but didnt know whether the truth would be the best avenue to take right now. She unlocked her fingers from the mug and let Alex take a sip from it. 

 

“Good thing you know me better then.” She kissed Alex’s cheek, “I’m gonna go take a shower and get ready for work. Thanks for the bagel.”

 

Alex smiled and nodded, but knew Maggie was deflecting. She didnt want to push her to talk about things she wasn't ready to talk about, so she let her go but made a note to try and ask again later. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

Kara could tell something was bothering Alex as soon as she walked into the command centre at the DEO that morning. Her shoulders were tense and she had a perplexed look etching its way further and further across her face. They both stood and looked at the screens in front of them, just daring some evil or catastrophe to kick off. Every so often, a soft sigh permeated through Alex’s chest and Kara noted that she looked even more worried about something. 

 

As the day drew to a close Kara couldn't stand by and not see if her big sister was alright. She had been trying to let Alex be her own person, to figure things out by herself, without having a super for a sister butting into her life even more.

 

“Okay, whats wrong Alex?.. I can tell when something is bothering you.” 

 

Alex looked at her little sister, standing before her, family crest emblazoned in front of her. Her silence only made Kara push further. 

 

“Come on Alex, is it Eliza? Did she say something? Or is it Maggie? Did something happen between you guys? Do I need to fly over there and make her see sense, because Rao help me I will…” 

 

Alex cut her off with a shake of her head, “No.. Kara.. nothing.. its nothing.” 

 

Kara pouted, full puppy dog mode activated. “Alex.. you’ve looked like you found 10 cents and lost a dollar all day.. I know you.. something happened. Do you need sister couch and potsticker time?”

 

A small smile graced Alex’s lips, nodding she wrapped an arm around her little sister and they left for Kara’s apartment. She knew she hadn't gotten out of talking to Kara about this but she just needed a little more time to figure out how to ask or talk about it without sounding weird or like its worse than what it actually was. Alex wasn't even sure about that either but some sister time would definitely help in relieving some of the worry that had settled on her shoulders since this morning. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

“Thhats ..a lil.. creepy”, a mouth full of potstickers not slowing down her surprise. Alex looks over at her and Kara swallows and tries again. 

 

“I mean, well, it kinda is Alex, no getting around it. Did you ask her about it?” 

 

Alex frowns and sighs heavily, munching on her own carefully guarded potsticker. 

 

“I didnt want to push her into talking to me if she wasn't ready. She isn't big on talking about herself or what she's been through so I’m trying to be the supportive girl friend that doesn't upset her further by making her talk.” 

 

Kara nods and hugs a pillow closer to her chest, potstickers devoured and her hunger tamed at least for the time being. 

 

“Do you think its about something that happened to her before you and her started up?”

 

Alex shrugged hard and another heavy sigh ripped its way through her chest. The weight of everything, if not the world weighing her down just that little more. Kara moves to sit beside her, wrapping her arm around her sister. Discarding her potsticker she leans into her embrace. 

 

“I don’t know Kara.. I just wish she would talk to me.” 

 

Kara had noticed a big difference in Alex since Maggie had come into her life; she had become more open and willing to feel things she had long since blocked out. 

 

“I think she will when she's ready Alex. I think Maggie just needs to process things. She's a smart, capable woman but I think she absorbs things differently to us.. Its what gives her that edge she has, that instinct.”

 

Alex nods and looks Kara in the eyes, a soft smile pulling at her lips. 

 

“I’ve missed this.” 

 

Kara’s eyes beam and she pulls Alex to her chest again, arms wrapped tightly around her.

 

“Me too…”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

It was by chance that Kara had run in to Maggie by herself the next day. Kara had gone over to Alex’s apartment but only found Maggie there, who had told her that Alex had been called into the DEO for something Lab related. Kara had nodded and made to leave but her conversation with Alex from the previous evening began playing in her mind. All she wanted was for Alex to be happy and by all accounts Maggie had been giving that to Alex. Her need to, for once, take care of Alex over came her and she turned harshly back towards Maggie and steadied her gaze. 

 

“Are you trying to figure out the best way to tell Alex that you are breaking up with her?”

 

Maggie was taken aback, a frown firmly etched onto her olive skin, disbelief shining in her eyes. 

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Kara fidgeted with her glasses and tried to hold her resolve for just a little while longer, at least long enough to get answers for Alex.

 

“Are you going to break up with Alex?”

Maggie scoffed and shook her head.

 

“What makes you think or even say that Little Danvers?.. Has Alex said something? Does she think I’m going to leave her?”

 

Kara shook her head and tried to reel Maggie back in. 

 

“No.. but I do think she is worried about you.”

 

Maggie bit her lip, a slight flutter entering her chest just like it did any time Alex made a thoughtful gesture or even just walked into the same roo she was in. 

 

“I’m fine Kara… really. I should be worried bout her. She’s been through so much with her dad, being taken, everything.” 

 

Kara felt her heart blossom as she listened to Maggie draw her sisters well being like the borders of a map onto her soul. A moment of silence passed between the pair, each trying to determine the next port of call for the conversation. 

 

“She knows you are watching her sleep.”

 

The statement bit at Maggie’s throat; bile rising up behind a tide of fear and realisation but before she could begin to fathom what Alex must think, Kara hit her with another home truth. 

 

“I haven’t seen my sister this happy, I’m pretty sure ever. She loves hard Maggie, and as much as she’s been through in her life, she always puts everyone first and she’s still doing that now with you, even though she is terrified. She is giving you space, giving you time to get into what ever place you need to get into but it’s eating her up inside because she talks to you, she tells you things she would never, or could never tell anyone else… but you don’t talk to her, not really. You give her little bits of you and she takes them, so carefully, so un judgementally, and she gives you everything, every little bit of her, so much so that its painful and she respects you so much that she isn't pushing you to give her any more than that but…”

 

The rising tide of fear in the back of her throat began to plummet into the pit of her gut, grabbing at her insides, the realisation leaving her lips almost like a whispered prayer.

 

“It’s not enough…”

 

Maggie’s gaze rose up to meet Kara’s. She expected to see anger and pain on Alex’s behalf but found only worry and what she hoped to be understanding.

 

“No.. its not.”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

The purr of Alex’s Ducati died out as she pulled up to her apartment. She sat, still straddling the bike, for a few moments. It had been a rough day; an OP gone wrong, agents injured, more questions that she cared to find answers for in this moment. A heavy sigh had ripped through her chest as she entered the elevator, leathers still wrapping her body in a comforting protection. She was tired. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. Everything had been coming to a head for Alex, building up, coiling deep within her, gripping her soul far tighter than she ever thought was possible. The weight of the world settling on shoulders, made too big before their time.   It was at times like this, that everything became autonomous for Alex; actions take without forethought, things done a million times before. So as she slid her key into the lock of her door, opening it, she nearly missed the lighting that blanketed her apartment in a warm glow. 

 

Alex frowned and drew her weapon before her, closing the door gently behind her as to not disturb any would be intruders that may still be lurking in her apartment. It bit at Alex that it was always a possibility that someone could intrude into her home, her personal space away from the DEO things of life. Moving further into the apartment, arm coiled, gun in hand stretching out before her, she eyed the space around her. Candles lined the surfaces before her, flame flickering shadows across the walls and her face. 

 

Catching movement from the corner of her eye, Alex spun around and weapon trained expertly at the presence now with her in the room.

 

“Alex!” 

 

Maggie almost dropped the candle in her hands at the sight of Alex, DEO agent mode activated, gun pointed right at her head. 

 

Alex’s heartbeat thumped painfully in her ears, as her breath caught in her throat at the sight of her girlfriends terrified face. She faulted in her stance and lowered the gun cautiously, a little at a time, unwinding the tightened coil inside her as not to let it fly free.

 

“Ma… Maggie?”

 

Maggie raised her hands before her, surrendering everything of herself.

 

Alex released the breath she had unintentionally been holding in and with it unlocked her arm to lower her gun fully. Strains of soft jazz filtered through the silence between the pair, each looking directly at each other, Maggie’s hands still surrendering. Alex’s chest heaved and she pitched a few steps backwards until her back hit the marble of the countertop, her gun clattering against its cool surface as she put it down. 

 

Maggie watched with concern laden eyes, hands slowly lowering as Alex’s inability to breathe rose. Without wanting to frightening her, Maggie was by Alex’s side in moments, searching a tired, emotionally volatile face for a sign of the woman she loved. 

 

“Hey Danvers, its okay..” 

 

The tears welling in Alex’s eyes began to slip their way down her cheeks, tracking with them everything that had come tumbling down on her in the past few days, weeks, maybe even months. She tried to look away from Maggie but a gentle forefinger under her chin, brought their gazes back to each other, eyes searching, telling, knowing that this needed to happen. 

 

A wet breath sucked its way into Alex’s lungs.

 

“I… Maggie.. I could have shot you.” 

 

Maggie tilted her head slightly and a glimpse of a smile graced her perfect lips. 

 

A frown knitted its way across Alex’s brow at the look on Maggie’s face.

 

“Don’t smirk at me Sawyer, you could have been killed. Like lying on the floor, pushing up daisies, not coming back from the dead, dead.” 

 

Maggie shuffled closer to Alex and ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to comfort her.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out babe. I should have called or something..” 

 

Alex bit her lip, frown easing slightly, until it fell away just like her uptight shoulder, slumping from their position on high. She slid into Maggie’s arms and held on tight for a moment, breathing her in. Maggie smiled into Alex’s shoulder and let her have their moment. 

 

The pair stood in a more than comfortable silence until Maggie’s voice, muffled by Alex’s shoulder, filtered through Alex’s ears. 

 

“Kara came to see me today.”

 

Alex leant back from Maggie but still held her in her arms. 

 

“oh? everything okay…cus I don’t know.. things have seemed a little off and I didnt want to push you to talk about it but.. ”

 

Alex trailed off her rambling as Maggie smiled up at her, eyes shining with warmth. Taking her hand, Maggie led Alex to the sofa and sat down on the coffee table in front of her, a hand still held securely in her own. 

 

“I know I’ve been a little off lately…”

 

Alex shook her head and carefully tucked maggie’s hair behind her ear.

 

“No.. no Maggie we don’t have to talk about it.”

 

Maggie smiled and shook her head back at Alex.

 

“Woman, are you gonna let me finish.”

 

Alex bit her lip and nodded, and it made Maggie’s insides melt and her heart beat a little faster. 

 

“I know things have been a little off lately, that I’ve been a little off lately, and that you've noticed it. I’m sorry if I have given you any cause to worry about us, where we are or how I feel about you… This is just all very… real.”

 

Maggie averted her gaze for a moment and fiddled with the hem of Alex’s shirt and Alex absentmindedly traced delicate lines with her thumb across the back of Maggie’s hand.

 

“And… you’re scared?” she hoped it was more of a statement than a question. Maggie looked back up at her, nodding, eyes slick with unshed tears and emotions she didnt know how to convey without coming completely undone. 

 

“I’m scared that I’m gonna wake up one day and it will all be gone, like it was just some dream I had concocted in my head, that you aren't in my life. Everything good that I’ve had in my life I have screwed up somehow and I don’t wanna do that with you Alex. My life is better with you in it.. I am better with you…”

 

Everything made sense to Alex now. Putting a delicate finger under her chin, Alex looked into Maggie’s soft eyes.

 

“So… you’ve been watching me sleep because you’re afraid I'm not gonna be there when you wake up, that I’m gonna disappear?”

 

Maggie nodded and wiped at the tears slipping down her cheeks. 

 

Alex took Maggie’s face in her hands, cupping her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tear tracks there. 

“Maggie…. I love you.. and I’m going to be here for as long as you will have me. All the things that have happened to you in the past, with relationships and people have made you so kind, caring and patient. You care so much about everyone else and make sure that they are okay, that you often forget that its okay to feel things yourself.”

 

Maggie smiled, dimples on full display, her heart fluttering with joy.

 

“You love me?”

 

Alex smiled softly, cheeks blushing slightly, pulling Maggie forward so that she was sitting on the sofa beside her. 

 

“Yes Detective Sawyer I do.. and Im not going anywhere.”

 

Their smiles blossoming into full blown cheek splitting ones. Maggie leant forward, capturing Alex’s lips in a slow, soul burning kiss, hoping that Alex could feel everything that she had ever wanted to say in it. She also hoped that at least for a little while that everything Alex had said would be true, because if there was one thing that Maggie knew, no matter how reassuring someone was, was that something would always happen that would tear her whole world apart. But at this moment, here with Alex, in her arms she was content to let the world try and bring it all down. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is spiralling.. Everything that held her together was falling apart and she didn't care. She would let the darkness swallow her, if it meant she didn't have to feel so alone... and with one word from someone she never expected to see again, she might just be able to start to feel like she wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea where this came from.. Its dark and twisty and not entirely how I saw it ending so I apologise now if its triggering or crap in general.. I know its been awhile and as much as I can apologise for that, all I can say is that I will try to do better between writing these and my other two fics that I have on the go.. As always, please dont hesitate to comment, yell, scream or kudos this.. I'm prepared. Hope you enjoy..

* * *

 

Alex stood silently staring out at the city before her, the rain thumping against her skin, soaking through her clothes, pooling in her shoes. 

 

But she neither noticed, nor particularly cared.

 

The lights of the city danced across her vision, the people below unaware of just how much danger they were actually in, going about there lives, through the motions. 

 

Alex hated that. 

 

She sometimes hated how they could just go on with their lives, while she sacrificed and gave up everything. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, a resentment for the people she had been chosen to protect. 

 

Just for once she wanted someone else to do it, for someone else to take the heavy weight she carried with her, to bear the burden of lives lost and loves abandoned. 

 

It had been the only thing Alex had ever known; protecting the people she loved and those she didn't even know. 

 

It was made her mission, her life’s work. 

 

And for what? For her to lose every chance at happiness that comes her way. 

 

Alex knew it was her fault. She pushed people away, tried to limit her connections with others so that she wouldn't have to watch them die too, so she wouldn't have to give them up. Its just how it was, how things work. 

 

But right now Alex, didn't give a shit. She would stand here and watch it all burn if it meant she could go back and change how things had gone down. 

 

She looked down at the street below her, almost invisible in the night that surrounded her; the street lights the only exception permeating it. 

 

The thought crossed her mind. _Would anyone notice?_  

 

She could just let go and the night would take her, without a word, without question. And maybe that would be better, maybe that would make all she had been through seem worth it. 

 

Who was she kidding? Everyone would just blame her for it anyway. It was always like that. She just couldn’t seem to get out from under her own shadow. It was a heavy, black tie affair. From the outside, it was pristine, an inviting glow but she knew the reality of it. It was exactly like Kara’s glasses; it projected an illusion to all those who didn’t know her, or her secrets. 

 

It had been necessary, comforting even at one point but in this moment, in many moments before it had only become a burden, a dark, overshadowing cloud she couldn’t shake. The rain still fell around her, mixing with the tears that now slid down her face and her heart ached. 

 

Ached for the moments lost.

 

Ached for things she had said.

 

Ached for things left unsaid.

 

Oh how it Ached.

 

Ached for Maggie.

 

Alex had never felt this way about anyone before. Maggie was it for Alex. The beginning to everything that should have been the end. She had given up and then like closing an electrical circuit with the flick of a switch, light in the form of one Maggie Sawyer burst into her life; banishing the dark, nurturing the tendrils of the real Alex that had held on to full growth. 

 

She had felt whole then. 

 

But now all she felt was lost in the deep end. 

 

The water lapping at her throat, threatening to overwhelm her, to drag her down into its murky depths; drowning her. 

 

So she stood on the roof of a building, trying to decide if she could ever drag herself out of the darkness again, or if the only way to survive was to let it take her. Her mind drifted to sitting in that bar that Kara had found her in, downing shots, trying to numb herself to the reality that she had lost yet again. That her notions over one aspect of her life were cemented and that she couldn’t, or more rather wouldn’t bend or break to allow anyone else in. She had said to Kara that she was right, that she would find her in a bar, drowning her broken self; score one for the Kyrptonian. 

 

And she was broken. 

 

Broken because Maggie was gone.

 

No…. Because Alex had sent her away.

 

Kara didn’t seem to understand. She could only see Alex deconstructing, wallowing in her own self pity. She had said to let it go and try to move on.. Alex had frowned, confused; Kara didn’t seem to know her anymore.

 

Another thing Alex couldn’t understand was Kara. They had been so close, kept each other safe, had each others backs but ever since Mon el had shown up, Alec was left to drift in the wind, no Kara to tether her, no solid ground in the form of their relationship. It baffled her that no matter what he did, Mon el could do no wrong in Kara’s eyes but Alex was now the outsider for no apparent reason at all, save for the fact that she wasn’t an alien from another planet; or maybe that was it. She was human and now that Kara had found another similar to her, Alex was irrelevant.

 

She scoffed at herself and the thought that Mon el was anything but a playboy playing dress up, pretend to get into Kara’s pants. The thought almost made her gag. She had held everything in for so long but now, she didn’t care, she had given up too much to care about anyone else’s feelings when it was clear no one cared about hers. 

 

The street down below was still as empty as it had been before. 

 

Fitting she thought; empty just like her soul.

 

She had lost track of how long she had stood there; time seeming to bear no meaning or consequence to her contemplation. A slight breeze bit at her bones, settling deep within her. 

 

_“Danvers?”_

 

It almost sounded like a whisper; the breeze mocking her, wanting to drive her over the edge. 

 

It bit at her soul.

 

_“Alex…”_

 

Her heart skipped a beat, then slammed painfully into the cage holding it captive. Tears flooded her eyes once more and spilled over her cheeks, a guilt rising inside of her. 

 

She balled her hands into fists; forcing herself to stay facing away from the voice, from the eyes she knew held only contempt for her, eyes that would be forever dimmed because she had stolen their spark. 

 

No. 

 

She would choose to believe that it was just a figment of her imagination. A memory her mind had conjured up to guide her further into the darkness. Alex didn’t know if that was even possible. 

 

Alex closed her eyes and blew a shaky breath through her pursed lips as an all to familiar hand slipped into her. Its warmth travelling up her arm, into her chest, collecting in the swell- wrought depths of her stomach. 

 

She stayed with eyes closed, not willing to open them in case she had indeed imagined the whole thing. 

 

A gentle thumb stroked soothing patterns across the back of her hand, its pressure never faltering. Alex felt its presence begin to soak into her. 

 

_“I’m sorry..”_

 

The words slammed into Alex, almost knocking the air from her lungs. Her eye lashes fluttered and she forced herself to open her eyes, forced herself to look at Maggie.

 

Her breath caught in her throat. Maggie was still as perfect as she had been the last time they had seen each other; the last time Maggie had closed the door to their apartment behind her. She shook her head and Maggie turned to look at her.

 

_“No… Maggie, don’t.”_

 

Maggie nodded, a gentle smile biting at the corner of her mouth, lighting her eyes, just like it had always done when looking at Alex.

 

_“Yes… I’m sorry Alex.. I should have fought harder. I should have… So many things Alex.”_

 

Maggie cupped Alex’s cheek with a gentle hand, fingers threading her hair, thumb dusting over her cheek bone. 

 

Alex shook her head again, tears spilling over, sliding down her cheeks, Maggie’s thumb quick to catch them, to dry them just like they always had. 

 

_“I made the choice Maggie… I made it impossible for us to be together…I told you we couldn’t be together..”_

 

Maggie stepped up to Alex, her body flush against Alex’s as she turned to face her fully. 

 

_“and…”_

 

The single word confused Alex.

 

_“And what?”_

 

Maggie guided them a few steps away from the edge.

 

_“and now… do you still feel the same… not about having kids but… about..”_

 

Alex covered Maggie’s hand on her face with her own, leaning in. The rain was still falling and Alex could see tiny water droplets collecting on Maggie’s eye lashes as she looked back at her. 

 

_“And now… I feel like I’m losing any fight I have left… I’m all burned out Maggie… and its all my fault… I did this to us. I ruined anything we could of had because I wouldn’t see the world, our world through any other perspective but my own… That trust we built.. is gone and I don’t think we can ever get it back Maggie… That trust that I won’t change my mind again, that I won’t demand that what I want is the only option..”_

 

Maggie hooked a finger into a belt loop of Alex’s jeans, pulling her even closer to her.

 

_“Do you love me…?”_

 

Alex’s heart threw a spark into her body. Of course she loved Maggie. She was always going to love her. With a gentle hand, Alex brushed a slick strand of hair off Maggie’s face.

 

_“Forever..”_

 

Letting go of the belt loop, Maggie cupped Alex’s face in both of her hands, eyes searching, breath ghosting in the cold air of the rain drenched night…

 

_“Then thats enough Alex…. The rest is just noise… The rest can be worked out… because I’m not losing you again. I’m not giving you up… not leaving you to command this world alone… You deserve to be happy Alex… and I want to be the reason you are happy… Life is short and I can’t have it destroy the woman I love… I won’t let it..”_

 

Shaky breaths chase trembling lips and rain drops on soft skin and all Alex can do is close her eyes. 

 

Maggie’s lips feel soft against her own; the world shifting, spinning, falling out from underneath her and if she hadn’t pulled Maggie’s hips into her own, she would have tumbled over; her senses buzzing and overwhelmed with everything she had ever felt and more. 

 

It was the gentlest of kisses. 

 

A barely there promise of I’m sorry, it’s okay and please believe me.

 

Alex swallowed hard as Maggie pulled back and looked into her eyes. 

 

_“How did you know I was here?”_

 

Maggie smiled, dimples ghosting her cheeks as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. 

 

_“Im a detective Danvers… I detect.”_

 

Alex didn’t know where they would go from here or even if they could mend what she had ultimately broken… but in this moment, on the roof of a building in National City, standing in the rain, Maggie in front of her… she could almost begin to see that she wasn’t so alone in a world full of people… She just had to fight for it…

 

Fight for her…

 

Maggie. 


	11. Chapter 11 part 1: Orion- with blood of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a recon mission goes sideways and Alex is taken, Maggie must pull everything and everyone together to save her, but finds only blame, contempt and judgement from the people who are supposed to care about Alex the most. When Kara tries to shift the blame completely onto Maggie things get heated and Maggie finally gives Kara a piece of her mind. If she wasn't willing to find Alex, Maggie was sure as hell gonna be the hero she needed and deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of this ficlet. It would have taken a lot to write it as one fic and this first part got me really excited and feeling empowered for both Maggie and Alex so I decided to post it in two parts...Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

There rage burned within.

 

It bubbled and seethed and almost ripped her apart.

 

She had always tried to keep a tight lid on it but this time it was like marbles on a glass table, sliding all over the place out of her grasp.

 

It burned white hot just behind her eyes, pushing everything around her just out of focus. She knew she had to keep a level head though, no matter how deep the raging river burned within her. Now was not the time to be flying off the handle, not when lives were at stake.

 

Taking a deep breath. Maggie retrained her gun, cupping the butt in the palm of her hand, finger a hare’s breath away from the trigger, almost daring the man before her to give her a reason to put him in a pine box.

 

But there was Alex.

 

Maggie had tried not to make eye contact with her. She knew if she did, she would be distracted by the hand wrapped around her throat. Instead she focused on the gun pointed at Alex’s head.

 

It was mechanical and helped to try and quell her need to scream and set the world on fire. She knew in part that this was her fault. She had done what she always did; pushed where she knew she shouldn't have.

 

And now Alex’s life was in danger. Maggie knew all to well that she could take care of herself, but it still didn't stop the want to make things right.

 

Maybe it was that hero complex she had once been told she had? The one time she decides to try and talk out her feelings, the therapist tells her that its all her fault that bad things happen. Were they even allowed to do that? She thought they were meant to be helpful, not blame the patient. Of course Maggie would take some responsibility for her actions in any given situation but the blame was never solely on her. Was it?

 

She shook the thought from her mind and returned them to the current situation she had gotten herself and now Alex into.

 

_“Orion, You need to put the weapon down and let her go right now!”_

 

Bald head, piercing blue eyes and a smirk of steel plastered across his face. If Maggie didn't know better she would have considered him to be a long lost relative of Lex Luthor. Evil still the same though. He chuckled at her, the sound grating the very few ties she had left to her control.

 

_“And why would I want to be doing that detective?.. What’s so special about this one then?”_

 

His grip seemed to tighten around Alex’s neck as he emphasised his position.

 

Maggie couldn't help it. She clocked Alex’s eyes, which were wide and with a small shake of her head, told Maggie to not say what their connection was. She stared right back, eyes pleading.

 

Orion must have felt the change in dynamic, smirk blossoming into manic laughter.

 

_"Oh my my my… Don't tell me Ive captured the great detective Maggie Sawyer’s love…”_

 

Maggie didn't give him the satisfaction of a response, knowing all to well that he wouldn't believe her anyway.

 

_“I’m only going to ask once more Orion, let. Her. Go.”_

 

A sneer slid across his mouth, lip cocking upward, contorting his features, darkening his eyes; expelling a blackness that bit into Maggie’s soul. His grip tightened further around Alex’s neck and Maggie could see that her airway was almost, if not completely compromised. Her internal voice screamed and cried out in anguish and pain and defiance. She wanted nothing more than to put this monster down, to save Alex but in this moment, she knew that any action she undertook would most certainly end in harm coming to Alex. She had to rely on her ability to talk him down. It was really all she had left.

 

_“Here’s how this is going to go down Detective Sawyer. I’m going to be leaving and taking her with me. As you can see she is pretty much a goner right now if you try anything. One slight movement of my hand, and her neck snaps like a twig… and judging by the fact you haven’t shot me yet, I’m guessing thats the last thing you want. So.. I’m going to back out of here slowly and be on my way.”_

 

Her gun was still firmly aimed at his head, still giving her the option to shoot him if she wanted to; even though she knew he wouldn’t be able to beat his trigger squeeze. Shooting him right now was a last resort when all was lost and Maggie didn’t want everything to be lost. She had to try talking to him again.

 

_“You don’t need her… Take me. I’m more valuable.”_

 

Orion shook his head and glanced down at the barely conscious Alex.

 

_“Oh no no no… Why would I take you, when I have the opportunity to hurt you by hurting someone you love. They say the greatest pain in life is from the pain you cause others to those they love… Now.. I think its time I left.”_

 

Prove his point, he shook Alex a bit, her unresponsive body, bending to his will.

 

Her arm faltered then.

 

Her gun lowered.

 

Her was decision made.

 

She had no choice.

 

She had to let him go. Let him leave with the love of her life.

 

She had to let him take her to save her life.

 

_“I’ll be seeing ya Detective..”_

 

Maggie watched with tear laden eyes as Orion dragged Alex away, their figures disappearing into the blackened depths of the warehouse.

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

 

Maggie paced back and forth.

 

Chest heaving.

 

Gun still in hand.

 

Her mind racing.

 

What to do. What to do. What to do.

 

She had gone straight back to their apartment from the warehouse, unable to take herself anywhere else just yet. She needed time to work out what she was going to do; how she was going to get Alex back.

She was spiralling.

 

Normally grounded and level headed, Maggie now found herself untethered and confronted by the notion that she had caused this situation in the first place. She had pushed and pushed and made sure there was no other choice but to follow what she thought had been the right course of action.

 

Tears threatened to fall on her flushed cheeks as she tried to ground herself, hands gripping the top of the marble counter top, locking arms tight, head slumped forward.

 

She tried to breathe.

 

To clear her mind to make way for rational thoughts.

 

Thoughts of getting Alex back safely.

 

Her mind flashed to her limp in Orion’s grip causing the waves smashing away in her stomach collided with each other, sending her sprawling over to the sink, bile burning her throat as she threw up.

 

She had stuffed up.

 

She wanted to take every part of it back, to stop herself from putting both of them in the position but didn’t know how to fix it by herself.

 

Her heart clenched painfully as her thoughts directed her to her solution.

 

She had to call Kara, or J’onn.

 

She needed the DEO.

 

These people were Alex’s world, her family, and Maggie was now that person who had caused her to be taken by a psychopath. If they didn’t like her before, they certainly weren’t going to hold back in this arena.

 

Maggie shook her head and took a deep breath.

 

No. She couldn’t worry about any recrimination right now.

 

Alex was the priority.

 

Finding her and getting her back was the only thing that mattered and if that was the last thing Maggie would ever do, if it cost her her last breath then so be it. She would give it up, all to see Alex safe.

 

The command area of the DEO was a buzz as Maggie walked in. People milling about everywhere. J’onn, Kara and Winn stood facing a bank of monitors, depicting yet another alien criminal that was in need of capturing. She stepped up beside Kara.

 

_“Oh hey Maggie if you’re looking for Alex, she’s not here and we are kind of in the middle of something right now.”_

 

Maggie tried to object to the sudden stop to their conversation but was overridden by J’onn and Winn arguing the point with each other, Kara throwing a few words in here and there.

 

_“Alex has been taken.”_

 

The words fell from her lips on deaf ears. She didn’t know if it was because she hadn’t said it loud enough for them to hear or that they were too involved with whatever they were arguing about.

 

“ _ALEX HAS BEEN TAKEN.”_

 

A hush fell over the entire command area and all eyes fell on to Maggie. Disbelieving whispers and looks flitted between coworkers and friends alike. Kara stepped forward, red cape swishing softly behind her.

 

_“Maggie… what do you mean Alex has been taken? By who?”_

 

Maggie lifted her head to tentatively look up at Kara. _“I mean Alex is being held captive by one of the rogue aliens you guys are meant to be looking for.”_

 

It was J’onns turn to step up to where Maggie stood. _“Who has her Maggie?”_

 

She looked at each of them in turn before answering, knowing that her answer was going to cause a lot of discord. She must of been taking to long to answer because J’onn stepped even closer to her. _“WHO HAS HER?”_

 

Maggie swallowed. This was it.

 

_“Orion…. Orion has her.”_

 

Maggie felt the energy in the room shift; a silent anger, fear and frustration building within the people before her. She couldn’t blame them; she felt it too.

 

J’onn slammed his fist down onto the metal table in front of him, his frustrations boiling over.

 

_“God damn it Alex! Winn active her tracker..”_

 

Winn scurried over to his computer and began typing furiously at his keyboard. He hoped to whatever celestial being was out there that he could find her.

 

_“How did this happen Detective Sawyer?”_

 

Maggie leant on the table in front of her, arms heavy with the weight of responsibility, of the knowledge that she had been the cause of this happening.

 

_“I was following up on some leads in an NCPD case which had some alien ties and Alex was helping me look into them. We had tracked a group linked to a weapons syndicate to a warehouse and were doing recon.”_

 

J’onn frowned and groaned. Maggie knew that he didn’t like Alex working with the NCPD on cases, especially ones that involved aliens; the fabric of his organisation.

 

_“How did recon turn into a kidnapping?”_

 

The words cut though the air and into Maggie’s soul. Kara had been oddly quiet till now and Maggie knew that meant the wrath of the Kryptonian was coming.

 

_“Alex knows what she is doing. She would have known to hold back and call me. She would have waited for back up…and the… only reason she would have gone against that is if you asked her to.”_

 

Maggie swallowed hard and moved around to where Kara stood, arms folded defiantly over the crest emblazoned on her chest.

 

_“Kara… I… I’m..”_

 

Kara shook her head, unwilling to hear Maggie’s apology; unwilling to let her clear her conscience.

 

_“No… You don’t get to slide with an apology. He took my sister.. this is on you.”_

 

J’onn stepped around to her as well, trying to calm the situation; trying to make clear what the priority was.

 

_“Kara..”_

 

Kara threw her hands up and huffed.

 

_“No J’onn.. Because of her… There is no way I can save my sister… I can’t get to her now.”_

 

Maggie frowned and shook her head; what did Kara mean she couldn’t save Alex.

 

_“What do you mean you can’t get to her or save her.”_

 

Kara turned sharply on her heels to face Maggie, coming within inches of her face.

 

_“Orion is made of stars… he was engineered in a part of the galaxy that didn’t approve of Kryptonian life. A Kabal of different planets and species got together and decided to create a race of super beings that contained blood of stars and liquid kryptonite..to try and take us down… They didn’t get a chance to start the war because Krypton was already destroyed but we all heard the whispers of Orion… of what he had done to kyrptonians off world. I can’t get near him.. One look from Orion and I die…Until now the universe’s best kept secret. So yeah, thanks to you my sister is as good as dead.”_

 

Maggie scoffed and stepped back from Kara.

 

_“So you’re just gonna give up on her… We will find a way to get to her… to bring her back safe.”_

 

Kara threw up her hands and began to walk away but turned back after a few steps.

 

_“You’ve done enough Maggie.”_

 

Shaking her head, Maggie made to follow Kara.

 

_“I love her Kara. I’m not going to give up on her, even if you already have.”_

 

Maggie steeled her gaze as Kara looked at her.

 

_“Do you know what I think Kara? You gave up on Alex and the relationship you guys used to have a long time ago… you gave up when Mon el came around. You threw her aside because a boy from the planet next door came along and you let him change your path because of the so called magical staff between his legs that supposedly says that men are gods gifts to this earth and we would be in peril without them.”_

 

Maggie’s chest filled with bravado and it spurred her on.

 

_“You gave up and have been living in this bubble… this bubble you’ve created where YOU are the only hero… the only one allowed to save anyone. She sees you has a hero still, even though you abandoned her long ago… but guess what Kara, she sees me as her hero too. Orion being the one who took Alex is just an excuse… you want an excuse that allows you to finally put down the cross you’ve been self righteously carrying, an excuse that makes Alex the bad guy because she couldn’t use the positron canon and Mon el left you behind with the rest of us.”_

 

Kara was shocked; speechless.

 

_“I save her too Kara. I will always save her, even if you wont.”_


	12. Chapter 11 part 2 - Orion: Good Soldiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is happening while Maggie tries to figure out where Alex is? Alex is struggling.. not just against who took her, but some truths Orion seems to know about her, seems to know she holds within her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said this was gonna be a 2 part thing but it has now extended into a 3 parter... I know Im sorry.. but I'm hoping it will be well worth it.. It could have been turned into its own fic but I already have too many on the go and don't wanna start another when I have others to finish! This chapter is a bit of a hard ball... I kinda wrote it as somethings I find Alex keeping to herself a lot, and what I wish someone would say to her.. even if it is on the end of a kidnapping. Hope you guys enjoy it :) Let me know..

* * *

 

The sun was shining and a slight breeze tossed loose strands of her hair around her face. The warmth of the sun burrowed deep into her bones, a contented sigh releasing any left over tension holding her hostage. A gentle smile ushered itself across her lips as a figure stepped towards her, sun haloing dark hair, bright eyes and beauty she could never have imagined getting to lay her eyes on. 

 

The figure extended a hand towards her, beckoning her forward, summoning her presence in their arms and she would oblige, her smile extending to her eyes, like her arm towards the figure. But she frowned as the figure laughed and turned to run away. Her heart rate rose as she tried to get up and take after the figure, the sky darkening, the warmth of the sun replaced by a stiff breeze and thunderous storm clouds. 

 

Nothing seemed to work. 

 

Her legs heavy, motionless weights. Her voice seemingly lost in the void of darkness now surrounding her. Fighting with every fibre of her being left her struggling with invisible demons and breath that was hard to come by. Shaking her head, she stopped herself, tried to calm the raging war inside her mind; the fear, the helplessness and the overwhelming notion that she was alone once again. 

 

Closing her eyes, she screamed again. And screamed. and screamed until everything seemed to fall away, until she was falling, the ground from beneath her gone until it wasn’t. 

 

She braced herself for the impact. For her bones to shatter, for everything to come to a crushing halt. 

 

Alex’s eyes jolt open and she's scrambling, her lungs constricting painfully in her chest, her senses buzzing until she realises she is on solid ground; cold, wet and unforgiving. Her eyes adjust to the lack of light that she had been experiencing before and she tries to sit up but everything hurts. Clawing at the ground, Alex uses every ounce of strength she can muster to get herself to the wall and get herself into a sitting position.

 

Her whole body screamed.

 

With rage.

 

With pain.

 

With defiance.

 

Trying to speak was also a no go; her throat felt bruised and crushed.

 

It was with that thought that Alex remembered just what had happened and how she had gotten in this state and in this position. It wasn't the first time she had been kidnapped or held in a room like this. 

 

This was just another time in a long line of other times.

 

It was all apart of her job as a DEO agent, she knew that but this time, it had been in front of Maggie. 

 

Alex cringed at the memory of Maggie’s face; eyes drowning in tears, hands trembling, the fear of losing her ripping her soul apart. 

 

She knew that Maggie would be coming to get her. She knew that. There was no way that Maggie was just going to let Orion do this, to take Alex. Maggie would come along and bring a whole world of pain upon him and Alex welcomed that. She would see him burn for making Maggie let him go, taking Alex with him. 

 

Alex knew all she had to do was hold on. Just like she had before. Hold on until Maggie came to save her. The only problem she had was that she didnt know where she was, and the fact that she hadn't gotten around to having her tracker put back in after last time. She had been meaning to, she really had, but everything had just been moving so fast and she had gotten caught up in making the world a safer place; had been caught up in everyone else’s problems.

 

She silently cursed herself but shook it off and turned her thoughts to figuring out how she was going to make it out of this place. 

 

A clink of metal chains snapped Alex’s mind to attention. Her eyes scanned the darkness, her ears listening for any other signs of movement. 

 

_“Agent Danvers….. Or is it Alex.”_

 

Alex’s blood ran cold as he spoke her name. She shuffled further up the wall as Orion stepped out of the darkness, chains in hand.

 

_“I’m going to kill you.”_ Her voice slightly straining but holding it together.

 

Orion chuckled and crouched down in front of Alex.

 

_“Tsk tsk tsk, come now Alex. That’s not very nice is it? I thought we could be friends?”_

 

It was Alex’s turn to scoff. 

 

_“Cause nothing says friends like kidnapping and torture.”_

 

A sneer slipped onto Orion’s face, his teeth flashing, showing Alex just how much of an animal he was. 

 

_“To be fair, you and your girlfriend did start it. Tracking me, lying in wait for me…”_

 

Alex studied his face, the lines, the scars, the story it was painting. She couldn't quite understand the contrast of his icy blue eyes and the softness of his face. He was a bad guy, she knew this, Maggie wouldn’t have been after him if he hadn't done something to warrant it but she couldn't help but feel an underlying tone of sadness, of torture, of misunderstanding.

 

_“Detective Sawyer wouldn’t have been tracking you if you hadn't done something to be on her radar.”_

 

Without warning, he was on her, arm wrapping around her, dragging her to her feet, chains wrapping around her wrists. 

 

_“You have no idea who I am agent Danvers… where I come from.. what I’ve had to do.”_

 

Alex stiffened as his arm retracted around her throat, memories flashing behind her eyes of what she could only assume was hours before; of air leaving her lungs, of white lights pricking her vision, of Maggie’s fear laden eyes searching her nearly closed ones for a sign of forgiveness. She tried to shake the memories free, to dislodge them from her mind, to rid herself of the sinking feeling that this might be that one time she doesn't make it out alive and as he dragged her over to a hook hanging from the ceiling, lifting her sightly to secure her wrists to it, Alex was all but sure this wasn't going to be pleasant. 

 

As he let her go, the tips of Alex’s feet were the only thing connecting her to the ground, her shoulder blades almost buckling as her extended arms took the weight of her body, her ribs spreading painfully to accommodate the newly added stress.

 

_“I didn’t wanna have to do this Agent Danvers… but there are somethings in life that are worth selling the last bit of yourself to obtain…to complete the mission…I’m sure that’s something you understand”_

 

Alex shifted to try and stabilise herself against the chains, hands wrapping around the cold metal, gripping it tightly, relieving some of the strain in her shoulders. 

 

_“If you didn’t want to do this, you wouldn’t… The excuse of not wanting to is just to appease your soul, its something you tell yourself to settle that wave building inside of you, the one that crashes down on you every time you feel something, something that isn't hatred, or hurt or anger. This is you taking control.”_

 

Her eyes were locked on Orion’s, noting, searching, probing for the signs she knew were there and she found them as he stalked forward, brow furrowed, sneer on his lips, fists clenched. She braced herself for what she knew was coming. 

 

His fist connected with her side, sending her swinging on the chains at her wrists, feet scrambling for traction, lungs burning as the air in them was forced out in a fit of coughs. As she composed herself, Alex couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up from with in her; head resting on her arm, the metallic taste of blood coating her tongue. Orion’s anger burned in his eyes, fists clenching tighter, knuckles bone white in the low light of the room. 

 

_“You really don’t understand the position your in do you Agent Danvers? I don’t need to take control, because I already have it. Look at where you are? No one is coming for you… not Detective Sawyer… and certainly not Kara Zor El. The only way out of this is if you tell me what I need to know.”_

 

It was Alex’s turn to frown. Why had he mentioned Kara? What did he want with her? He must of seen all questions print themselves across her face because he began to laugh as he stepped closer to her, breath ghosting across her cheek.

 

_“There it is…”_

 

He pointed at her, an amusement painted onto his face.

 

She tried to shift away from him as he moved further into her personal space but he held her in place, his face inches from hers.

 

_“You don’t see it do you? Just how much of yourself you have already given away… to Detective Sawyer… to Kara. Everything you do is tied to everyone else… you give and they take. Rinse and repeat. And now here you are… once again, taken for someone else’s demons, for someone else’s wrongs. You never make anything about you… and you’ll hold it together as your skin is torn, as your bones are broken, as you scream into the dark because you’re the good soldier… We are the same Alex… you and me.. We do what we have to for the greater good, no matter the personal cost.”_

 

Alex gripped onto the chains holding her up and clenched her jaw painfully. She closed her eyes to try and force his words out of her mind, out of that desperate corner of her soul that felt attached to the words… to the truth he had just spoken. 

 

_“You and I are nothing alike Orion..”_

 

Her words spitting like venom from a viper’s mouth into the echo of the room. 

 

He shrugged nonchalantly, knowing that she was battling with every word he had just said to her; the way she chewed the inside of her mouth, the energy shift in her body had told him as much. He didnt need her to believe any of it, he would get what he needed either way but a part of him felt a cord with Agent Danvers, that kindred spirit of sorts, whom was built their whole life for the service of others… the only difference was that he was manufactured for one purpose and one purpose only… to find, torture and kill kryptonians… and he would do absolutely anything to complete that mission.

 

_“You can deny it all you want Alex… but its written all over you… and I guess you’re right in some respects… because I know that i’m going to do whatever it takes to get what I need… Can you really say the same for you’re friends right now… for your sister. Do you actually think you can hold out long enough, to survive long enough for them to even try to save you?”_

 

With the last words barely having left his lips and their meaning spinning into Alex’s ears, Orion stepped back into the shadows upon which he had come from. Alex let out a breath she hadn't realised she’d been holding in and spat out the blood that had collected in her mouth. Her eyes stung with tears that threatened to rip loose her tough exterior but she fought them back just as Orion stepped back into the light, dragging with him a cabinet on wheels, the kind a mechanic would use to store his tools. Her eyes locked onto its shiny black surface, its stainless steel handled draws and it took everything she had not to struggle against her restraints to further herself away from them. The pit of her stomach had become a wash with fear, something she didnt feel very often but something that now flooded her system. Alex gritted her teeth and summoned up what little bravado she had left.

 

A smile bit at Orion’s lips as he turned back towards Alex, scalpel in hand, noticing the lingering fear in her eyes. 

 

_“This is going to be fun… well, for me anyway. Hahahahah.”_

 

Alex’s blood ran cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope you are enjoying.. and continue to do so.  
> Feel free to hit me up on Tumblr, Twitter or on here with some Prompts or story ideas you wanna see as a Sanver's scenario. 
> 
> Tumblr & Twitter: @thatwalkerkid
> 
> Look forward to hearing your thoughts & ideas
> 
> Much Love,  
> MelTheWriter


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